


Dean Winchester is saved

by Listae



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 00:03:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2327984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Listae/pseuds/Listae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saving Dean Winchester was always the most important thing. Now he's saved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dean Winchester is saved

He's still amazed this is how it ends. Yes, sure, he can recall every detail and every step he took to end up here; up to the final leap he took to get between Sam and the first blade in Dean’s hand, but the feeling of incredulity is still there regardless. Not that he ever hoped to get this far in the first place. 

He flashes back to the moment Sam told him Dean found Abaddon and was going for a kill. He knew something was wrong at that moment. An inkling of something wrong, something long forgotten, something that never mattered before. If only he’d taken a chance to examine that a little… Oh well, spilt milk, his brain supplies helpfully, still full of references Metatron graced him with. He had heaven on his mind; he couldn’t have spared time on hell. Ironic, all things considered. 

He thinks about how focused he’s been on opening heaven. This was the highest priority – find a way to defeat Metatron and bring everyone back home, get everyone to safety. Metatron is no longer a threat, but Castiel knows angels well enough not to think they are any safer now. There will still be fighting and fractions and… But Castiel won’t be able to help them anymore. Perhaps that is too for the best. His good intentions rarely meant anything.

He thinks of the moment of clarity when he finally realized what that feeling of wrongness was. A memory of a time long ago, so long in fact that even now Castiel is amazed he remembered. He remembered Michael showing him the first brothers – Cain and Abel and telling him to look closely. 

“Look, little one,” he’d said, “look at the corrupted and at the righteous. Look at the sacrifice.” Castiel watched the righteous brother put the sacrifice for the Father while the corrupt brother’s gaze followed him carefully. He saw contempt in the brother’s face and he was appalled by the pettiness of human nature. 

"No, little one,” Michael shook his head, “no, you don’t see. Look.” 

Castiel followed the development with morbid fascination. It was the first time Castiel realized that humans are much more complex than angels. It was not jealousy that drove the hand of Cain, but love. It was not Abel who was righteous and not Cain who was corrupted. And yet the righteous has fallen to save the corrupted and in doing so he absolved his brother, but corrupted himself. 

“He has slain his brother.” Michael murmured. “And in doing so he put a mark of the condemned on himself. And he shall live until the kingdom comes and he shall slay in the name of evil until his blackened soul is graced with love. The mark of Cain shall mark a murderer for the eternity and the life of a brother shall always be its price.” 

He thinks about this moment of realization, the clarity of it all. Dean would kill Sam. He’d condemn himself for eternity and even if somehow Castiel would find a way to bring Dean back – he’d never be able to live knowing he killed Sam. Sam is always the priority. At least he granted Dean this. His mind jumps to a different track and he thinks briefly how this will put a damper in Crowley’s plan. No doubt he wanted Dean to be a shining knight in his kingdom of hell. Well… Perhaps Dean will still kill him someday.

“No…” He's brought back to the present by Dean's despaired muttering. He watches him drop the first blade dripping with Castiel’s blood for the first time in days, weeks maybe. “No, please, no… Don’t do this to me, Cas, please, fuck, please hold on!” 

"It’s alright, Dean.” Castiel forces his numbing lips to give Dean this final reassurance. “It’s not your fault. I should’ve stopped this before…” 

He watches Dean drop to his knees and then he’s pulled into his friend’s arms. He’s sobbing, Castiel realizes through the haze of his quickly receding grace. “Don’t, Dean… I would’ve died anyway. This… grace… is foreign to me. Killing me… I much rather fall trying to save Sam, to bring you back.” 

“No!” Dean wails shaking all over. “No, please, no! I can’t lose you! Please, Cas! I can’t have this on me… Please, tell me what to do!” 

“You forgive yourself and you move on.” Castiel mutters fighting his drooping eyelids. “You take care of yourself and you take care of Sam, just like you always wanted.” 

Castiel lifts his shaking hand from his chest, where it was clutching to the wound as if trying to hold the leaking blood and grace, and carefully cups Dean’s face. “I had to bring you back from hell. I couldn’t leave you there. You’re back.” 

“Don’t leave me, Cas!” Dean begs through his own sobs. 

"I always…” He starts, but whatever else he was about to say dies together with him. He never really needed a proper goodbye. His mission is completed – Dean Winchester is saved.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry...


End file.
